Oh how I wish I could be more apathetic. My problem is that I bloody care too much about too much in this life. No, I'm not suggesting that I should be an emotionless stone, because then I wouldn't experience or find any joy in life. What I mean is, I wish I just cared... less. I take everything so damn seriously! To be more specific, I take what people say or do or think, and my actions (especially if I find a fault in them) too seriously.

I'm on the quest for true apathy. I genuinely believe that if I were more apathetic, I would feel more at ease and at peace with myself and the world. I think the level of seriousness with which I think about life and people in general is way too disproportional to that of most people. They don't care about what I care so much about (I'm talking about actions here, not ideologies, beliefs, etc.), so why should I care about these things? Why should I spend so many hours of my life thinking and re-thinking about these things? It's like a... disease. It's a cycle of torture, especially when I have so much stress about these issues, while the others don't, and then when they advise me, "You worry too much. Just take it easy." Oh, if it were only easy...

Ah, so I departed from my usual journal entry format of describing what I did in my day and all that. Well, I guess it's good to do something different every once in a while. On the other hand, I doubt that anyone's reading this, so...

Whatever.